You’re just reminding them of the mistakes they made back then. If you watch their facial expression carefully, then you’ll see the hurt in their eyes as they reminisce everything that happened. Never use emotion as a weapon, it strikes deeper than you can imagine.
I'm moody. I'm insecure. I'm sensitive. I get upset and frustrated easily. When I get quiet I want you to say something. I let things eat at me. I'll get scared and probably get myself all worked up over the tiniest things because that is who I am. I get paranoid that you'll see something in someone else and I'll lose you. I get jealous of the people who see you every single day because I can't. I'd be willing to sacrifice so much just to be there. I'd leave it all behind just to be with you. Would you do the same for me? I have so many questions and they turned into bad scenarios when I over think things. The only true thing I know in my heart is that I love you, and sometimes you just need to reassure me that you love me too.
“I know you’re sleeping. Obviously my phone died. I hope you’re having a good sleep and a really sweet dream. Maybe about me for once :) You know how you said you almost said the “L” word twice? Well when you told me you were about to say it, that makes me so happy. Why? Because it shows me we’re on the same page. Showing me we’re really happy with each other. You’re the best babe. You have the full package. You’re beautiful in my eyes. Forget what anyone says about you. I so opposite of hate you. Sweet dreams babe! :)”—
“What is love? Love is when one person knows all of your secrets… your deepest, darkest, most dreadful secrets of which no one else in the world knows… and yet in the end, that one person does not think any less of you; even if the rest of the world does.”—
That doesn’t mean you’re better. It’s stupid how people say that “they have their priorities straight” and they “know how to have fun without that shit”. Seriously? I know people that do all that and still have their life together. Some of them have their lives together more than others who…
Maintain. If you did a bunch of cute things with her before, try & keep it up. You don’t have to go all out everyday for her, but don’t stop completely just because you got her already.
“Ladies first.” No. That rule doesn’t apply to communication. Don’t wait for her call, text, IM, why don’t you try talking to her first for a change ? It’s thoughtful & sweet if a guy can actually do that.
Surprise her. You don’t have to drive an hour to her house at 3 a.m. to set off her name in fireworks in front of her window, but the little things are big things. A simple, good morning text, is more powerful than you think.
What insecurities ? For the love of God, all girls have insecurities. Please don’t point them out. For example, today I was looking at food & my boyfriend said “You eat a lot. You probably could beat me at a buffet.” WHAT. THAT’S NOT WHAT YOU SAY. Also, let her be herself. If she’s having a bad hair day, don’t make fun of her if it’s hurtful. Let her wear sweatpants & still feel pretty damn cute around you, even when she’s not looking her best.
Act the same around your friends. You’re not a real man if you completely blow off your girl in front of your homeboys. When you’re going to hang out with her & your friends you better not run off & leave her standing there to greet them like WUDDUPPP GUYSSS.. NO, you better at least walk with her & introduce her to them if you haven’t already. If you walk with her hand in hand, she’ll love it.
When she’s mad. Dude, you better try & get her back. Chase her, whatever it is, don’t let her walk away when she’s mad at you. It shows you don’t care enough to go after her. Don’t let her go.
One & Only. If your girl really doesn’t like one of your friends, trust, she has good reason to. Girls’ intuition -shrug- So don’t go hanging with your homegirl all the timeif you know your girlfriend doesn’t like that bitch. She usually won’t hate for no reason. Respect her.
Trust.Honesty. If you lie to her, you’re going to have one hell of a time regaining that trust because she’ll start questioning everything you’ve said or done for her, no matter how small that lie was. Fess up or get lost.
"When you're struggling with something, look at all the people around you and realize that every single person you see is struggling with something, and to them, it's just as hard as what you're going through." — Nicholas Sparks
There’s SO much going on this week. Tumblr seems like the only place I can speak my mind and sort out my thoughts. I may be in need of a personal journal. Yesterday’s incident really topped off my entire day :/ I’m glad it turned around though. Thanks to my understanding bffl. I really don’t know how he does it. The moments he has all the right to be angry, he keeps calm, and he doesn’t let his emotions get the best of him. Gawwwwd, I wish I could do that :( I’m kinda glad whatever happened last night, happened. It got me to finally reflect upon myself as a girlfriend, daughter, older sister, and best friend. Keeping positive seems so hard to do when all the forces are against me. I can’t wait for this week to be over. My next check will be off to the incident. I really hope I get the job at the Optometrist place. The pay would be extremely well, and the hours are reasonable. I hate smelling like sushi/hibachi every time I come home.
I need to do something to help me grieve and to get away from all my problems this weekend. I haven’t had a weekend with all the things ONLY I wanted to do in a very long time. I’m also super broke after blowing $900, which may come into conflict with this “getaway” :( ha. I’m struggling to keep my chin up with everything that has happened the past few weeks. I really have no room to complain though. I have it better than many others in this world.
Hopefully, the year of 2011 will treat me well or at least better than the previous years.
I don’t know why I’m so selfish. I wish we could go back to the way we were before Thanksgiving break. It all fell apart for me. I haven’t felt the same way since then. My true happiness lies there, in the past, times that I can’t bring back. Every little thing gets to me lately, but I know I can’t control the way I feel. It all happens naturally on its own. It’s like I’m at war with myself. My brain tells me one thing, then my heart comes along & contradicts it with the feelings I get when I’m with you. I know you didn’t understand when I said I needed time away from you. I’m not leaving you, like you, I could never turn the cheek without having the feeling of regret. I feel like I’ve been losing you everyday since Thanksgiving break. I’m probably overthinking the whole situation. I used to feel closer to you every time I look at your face, but the tables have turned. Honestly, the last time I felt anywhere near closer was on New Years. I remember how you broke down in tears because you’ve never been so happy, right in front of me, at Jack in the Box. Those days seem so long gone. I want to get it back so bad, but I know I can’t force it. I’ve boxed you up, and I feel guilty. If letting you go was easy, I would have set you free, so you wouldn’t have to hurt anymore.
I miss you even though you’re in front of me. I’ve become so sensitive because I feel like I’m losing you. I’m lost in my own thoughts. I don’t know how to express it to you. It’s becoming so hard to say anything to you. I want you to understand how I think and the way I function, but it isn’t that easy. I won’t be okay until you can 100% reassure me. You used to be my best friend, you still are, it’s just things have gotten a bit distant for us. I want us back on track. I want to fix this hole we have. We always say we will, but it’s still there.
I had an awkward conversation with my ex. It made me happy with all the great things I had to say about you. I was anxious to go on and on about how great of a guy you are to me. I’ve never had so many good things to say about one person. It’s like I’m breathing underwater. I’m falling deeper and deeper into this world where only you exist.
I know, you’re in pain, but only you can save me from all this.
& maybe one day we could leave this all behind us.
I don’t care if I sound gay saying all this. My tumblr, my thoughts. kbye.
“I think its a fact dude. Girls always go for the jerks and then when they find out they aren’t the only ones hes calling baby they get hurt about it. Girls, take a second to look around at all the guys that take the time to walk to class with you, that offer to drive you home, that go out of their way to make you smile, that accept you for who you are, that a quick hello or text from them makes you happy. They may not “dance” or “sing” or “play guitar” or “have six packs” but those guys, those are the ones you should be chasing, and it baffles me why you aren’t.”—(via stevenrosas)
I bought a brand new iTouch yesterday, lucky me, I fucked it up. LOL. I successfully jailbroke it, but my dumbass clicked something I wasn’t suppose to. & I wasn’t able to use it AT ALL. I was able to restore it. I got it back to its factory settings. It was still stuck on the recovery screen though :( I brought it into Best Buy again (they didn’t know it was jailbroken), and they gave me another new one with no hassle. YAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!! I also got my new laptop fixed. Lmao :)
I signed up for a membership at the YMCA, so I need to get going on that.